Pineapple pizza controversy

KRISTA ALBRITTON Staff writer

Lately, there has been an argument happening on a global scale. Almost everyone on earth has an opinion about it. Even celebrities have gotten involved.

Considering the involvement, acknowledgment, and statement of one Gordon Ramsay, some are saying the debate has come to a close. On April 4, 2017 at 4:29 a.m., Gordon Ramsay posted on his Twitter this statement, “Pineapple does not go on pizza,” and suddenly people are calling this case closed. What makes Chef Ramsay, a Michelin Star winning gourmet chef, an authority on food that gets delivered in a box coated in its own grease?

If we were talking about something like caviar or truffles, I would definitely take his word for it. There is no way on earth, though, that I will go to him for a be-all-end-all decision on something as sacred as pizza. Absolutely not. Not a chance. No way José. Not going to happen. You see, I am a firm believer and lover of pineapple on pizza and I will not stand by while someone known for their temper tantrums craps all over a delicacy I hold near and dear to my heart.

Pineapple on pizza was a gift from the gods and I shall not be looking that gift horse in the mouth. I would never take part in such sacrilege. Pineapple is a beautiful fruit. It’s sweet, but sour, it’s soft and delicious on the inside, but rough and debatably poisonous on the outside. Pineapple brings such joy and when combined with the glorious concoction that is pizza. Well, I don’t think I need to explain it to you. I totally will, though. Pineapple on pizza is amazing.

It’s a majestic balance of savory, sweet and sour that your taste buds can’t get enough of. You eat this combination and at first you think “Man, this is good pizza,” but then the pineapple bursts between your teeth and all of a sudden you are shot into a different flavor dimension; one that is so much better than the one you lived in before.

You live in that flavor dimension slice after slice until sadly, you can eat no more and are cruelly ripped from paradise only to come back to your old blander world destined to await the next flavor adventure. Long story short, I love pizza with pineapple as a topping, believe it is meant to be fact, and nobody, not even Gordon Ramsay can tell me otherwise.