KRISTA ALBRITTON
Staff Writer

First, let’s talk about every college student’s dream.

Sleep is a precious thing. People are constantly finding ways to better their sleep habits, whether it is a fancy pillow made from the tears of angels or a glorified hospital bed.

According to scientists, you need a healthy eight hours of being unconscious in order to act like a proper human being.

That is the recommended amount, anyways.

Do you really need to sleep for an entire eight hours, though? Why not five or even two? I know from experience that one can survive for weeks with only two to three hours of sleep per night and still be perfectly functional.

Sure, eventually, it may look like you’ve been punched multiple times in both eyes, but isn’t that what make-up is for? Despite the major bags, you could definitely survive on way less sleep.

Just think of all the extra time it would give you. You could get so much done in the time other, weaker people would spend sleeping.

You have homework due for every class the next day? No problem. What about that new show you’ve been meaning to binge watch? You’ve got this. Just sleep on it.

Now, let’s be toe to toe: most people have a motto that they live their life by.

Some people say to always be kind to others or to live by the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I, like any other normal human, also have a motto that guides me in my ways: “Close-toed shoes are fabric prisons for the feet and should be worn as infrequently as possible.”

Now, you may think I’m joking, but I can assure you (as can my friends) that I have never been more serious.

This is a very important issue that I feel very strongly about. Shoes that restrict and take my feet hostage are the enemy, and I spend most days far away from them.

It can be 25 degrees outside in the middle of a monsoon, and I will be wearing sandals – much to my mother’s displeasure.

Your feet just aren’t something you should play around with. You only have two of them, and it should be high on your priority list to take good care of them.

Cramming your hooves into shoes with no wiggle room is actually deforming your feet. From the time you are born, shoes are being put on your feet (even when you can’t walk) and your toes get pushed closer and closer together until they can no longer separate.

Did you know that toes are supposed to have spaces between them and aren’t meant to do that weird, curve thing?

Closed shoes turn your feet into weird claw-toed monsters.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m not interested in that. My feet may get wet, and my toes may get frozen.

But, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I don’t want my toes to fold in half and be squished so closely together that they essentially form one mega toe and neither should you.